60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. Minnesotans plant gardens.50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Duluth.
40 above zero: Import cars won't start. Minnesotans drive with the sunroof open.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Bemidji gets thicker.
20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas and wool hats & mittens. Minnesotans throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in Minnesota have one last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero: People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. Minnesotans dig their winter coats out of storage.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in Minnesota still selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset because the Mini-Van won't start.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in Minnesota can be heard to say, "Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools open 2 hours late.
4 comments:
I'm from Wisconsin, but I can still relate!
Jeannie
hilarious!!
I'm from Maine, a very cold state, but I do not relate. Last week on one of the -20 days, I wore a parka, boots, hat, and thick gloves to go to the library. As I was going in, I saw a lady coming out in a little black leather jacket, bare head, bare hands. And the thing is, that's normal here. You see people dressed inappropriately for the cold everywhere and it drives me nuts.
I am one who would welcome hot flashes because then I might be warm.
I did tend to dress inappropriately for the cold around town, because I wasted more than my fair share of fossil fuels warming my car up before I drove it and once I had kids I couldn't keep track of them and my purse and a big coat and gloves and a hat. Something had to go.
Even though I can't bear to part with my MN house, we all proclaimed that the thing we missed most about Africa was the weather. We may need to start investigating Texas or North Carolina as possible relocation sites whenever we move back!
I love this.. and one more thing.. Bloomington schools WOULD open on time.. or at least make the teachers show up on time...
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