Smile for the Day

I think I saw this a few years ago, but it's worth posting again as I just re-read it and laughed a lot ... I especially like the last two points!

Things I have learned from my boys

1) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3) A 3 - year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. (ed. note: I know the same goes for girls).
4) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It IS strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
5) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6) The glass in windows (even double pane) does not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh", it's already too late.
8) Brake Fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9) A 6-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11) Play-do and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12) Super-glue is forever.
13) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.
14) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15) VCR’s do not eject PB & J sandwiches even though they do in TV shows.
16) Garbage bags do not make good Parachutes.
17) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18) You probably DO NOT want to know what that smell is.
19) Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.
21) The spin cycle in the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
22) The spin cycle in the washing machine does, however, make cats dizzy.
23) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24) 80% of women who read this will pass this on to almost all of their friends; with or without kids.
25) 80% of the men who read this will try mixing brake fluid with Clorox (do it outside, guys).