Thursday, May 24, 2007

What will they remember most?

On another blog I was reading this morning, the writer posed the question "what will your children remember about you when they are grown?"

I do find myself thinking that a lot these days. Obviously B&T will look back at 2007 as the year they got two homes, and two parents with two separate lives. But I wonder ... on the days when I end up screaming at them to finish school work. Will they look back and say, "Wow, my Mom turned into one nasty lady when we had to do school work - you should have heard her when she was mad!"? Or will they recall the times I broke into spontaneous song and dance, with goofy words that are so-dumb-they-are-endearing (at least that's the effect I am going for, who knows if I reach it) about staying focused and learning, leading them to say "Wow, my Mom gave up so much to be home with us, letting us homeschool, and she was such a fun teacher!"

Will they remember all the times I yell at them to get them to hurry up and get in the car because WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or will their minds hold on to the times we are driving down the road telling jokes and laughing so hard I nearly have to pull over to wipe my eyes?

I look back at my own childhood - assuming that I can use my memories as an incredibly accurate predictor of what my own children will remember - and honestly a lot of my memories are based on the photographs we have of events. I do know (now) that I have blocked out some of the more unpleasant memories. When Ben was a toddler I was talking with my Mom about spanking - something we had decided we would not do. I made some comment about being grateful for having grown up in a house that did not spank. My Mom looked at me with a quizzical expression, saw that I was serious, then laughed and told me I was spanked - and spanked a lot - as a child. I didn't believe her but she assures me it's true.

I remember being spanked exactly twice. Once when I was caught (for the umpteenth time) reading under my blanket with a flashlight long after I was supposed to be asleep, and once for playing with a broom or some other long-handled thing while my Mom was laying on the couch with a headache, and I dropped the broom handle on her face. Both times it was my Dad administering the punishment. And, come to think of it, both times were when we lived in Georgia, so that means I was about 9. But now I know that my Mom spanked me plenty. However, my mind has conveniently decided I really don't need to know that as an adult and as a parent.

Anyway, I know my children will not grow up remembering being spanked, because it never happened (or maybe in some weird twist of fate they will think they were spanked ... somehow channeling the memories of spanking that I have pushed out of my mind?? The Twilight Zone taught me anything is possible.) But what will they forget? I hope the times mom went crazy. And what will they remember? Well, if I am using my memory as the game plan, I better start taking more pictures of us being silly and laughing together, and then actually get them off the computer and into a format that can be looked at.

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