You may have noticed I haven't been writing much this fall. I'm really not exactly sure why that is, but mostly I think it's because I realized I think way too much about who might read what I write, and then I worry way too much about what they might think. Not that I am seeking their approval or get my feelings of self-worth from others' opinions of me. But rather, that someone might disagree with me and challenge me and then I will have to decide if it's worth arguing or debating with them and do I really care what they think anyway, and suddenly it's tiring and it's just easier not to write anything at all.
I think that stems from the presidential election. I am still weary from that. My bounce-back ain't what it was when I was younger.
Then there is the blog I read a while back that talked about "scrapbook blogging" - said with perhaps a touch of "real bloggers blog about real topics" attitude, as opposed to "just" posting photos and explaining what's in them. That apparently affected me enough to make me stop blogging, as I got sensitive about the quality of my writing, and whether what I was writing was important enough (who defines enough, anyway?) But some of the blogs I love the most are those of people I care about and don't see very often and seeing their photos is the highlight of my week, often! So I love when other people "scrapbook blog" and maybe just need to get over myself and my desire to be Significant.
Of course, I am also working close to full-time outside of my house, and I have a new relationship which takes a bit of time, then there's having older kids with bigger lives themselves, and two dogs which require walking every single day. Weekends, too. All of that combines into a busier fall than I have ever had in my life.
So maybe it's not me after all, but rather the circumstances which I call life now.
Of course, I have this little voice inside which reminds me (rather snidely, too) that OTHER people do all that and still manage to blog more often than once a month.
Whatever, I hope to get back into it in 2010. Some days it will just be photos. Some days I may venture an actual opinion on an actual topic. Most days I will ramble on mindlessly and probably bore you to death. Whoever you are. All 7 of you.
So. With all that, here are my New Year's Resolutions for the upcoming twelve months:
- Blog more.
- Cook more, to reduce the number of restaurant-purchased meals per month.
- Pay off the new carpet and other repairs I put on credit cards to get my house ready to sell, which it never did.
- Resist looking at online listings of houses for sale in my area until #3 is done.
- Lose those pesky few pounds which I have gained since starting my job in September (sitting at a desk all day is not good) so that I can comfortably fit back into all the new clothes I had to buy to start said job.
- Take time to tell - really tell - the people who are important to me that they are so. Possibly do this by writing old fashioned, honest-to-goodness LETTERS. Sent in the MAIL.
- Get the Christmas tree down before the end of January.
- Defy all sociocultural predictors and actually USE the new WiiFit Plus program I got for Christmas.
- Deal with the mail the minute I touch it - straight to recycling (as opposed to the kitchen table) or into a designated location depending on content, to be dealt with thoroughly and efficiently, in a very short time frame.
I think I will stop at 9. Seems more attainable.
Happy New Year, All!