Taking a break from blogging here. Bye, y'all.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday, to me, Happy Birthday, to ME!

Today is my birthday. I am 49 years old. I can't remember the last time I proclaimed proudly to the world that it was my birthday - I think probably when I turned 18. My 30th and 40th went virtually unnoticed, and I am already planning for my 50th - what a celebration that will be!

But this year I just decided to toot my own horn and announce to the world that it's my day, and to revel in the birthday wishes.

And boy is it working! I am having

THE

BEST

DAY.

I have so much in my life that brings me joy. And gosh darn it, if I don't celebrate it, it might not get celebrated! I have worked very hard to get to the place in life where I am today, I have learned something important in every one of my forty-nine years. I have earned the gray hair I cover on my head and pluck out of my eyebrows (just did that this morning.) I have wrinkles and age spots and they are signs of victory that I am still here and I am thriving.

So Happy Birthday to ME!

Announcing...

The latest Positive Online Image website:

www.birthvision.com

This is the site of a friend of mine who recently became a doula. She is still fine-tuning the content on some of the pages, but my part - designing and creating the actual site - is pretty much done.

And I have to admit I absolutely LOVE it. Not that I'm biased or anything. Each site I do gets easier and faster, and, I think, better.

In the wings now ... a Pilates instructor, a professional musician, and maybe a veterinarian. And then maybe a site for my nephew, the film student. Anyone else out there need a site?

Up and Down

I got all excited today because I bought some new software to help me out in the development of website templates. It's so cool, lots of menus to use if you want, but total flexibility to bring in your own stuff quickly and easily. I'm working on a site for a doula right now (there's a profession I wish I knew about a long time ago) and it's so fun.

Then the new software stopped working.

It gave me a message that my "activation limit is reached." I don't know what that means, either. So I sent off my "help" note and I am waiting for them to get back to me after checking into my account status.

Waah. The creative juices were really, really flowing well there.

The good news is this doula (she calls me her "website doula" - how cool is that?!?) has several people who are watching her closely and asking her questions about how she's getting a website, and will be potential clients for me! YAY!

So once the new software is working again, this website doula will be back at work. When the site is done I will post the link.

In the meantime, anytime you hear anyone musing about a website (or complaining about their current website) ... send'em my way!

A look back

One year ago, I was just back from the Iowa State Fair. I was just a week or two past the decision (accepting the reality, really, more than deciding) that I was not going to be selling the townhouse and moving into a house-house. And I was musing about whether or not I should be my son's Facebook friend.

Two years ago, I was celebrating my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. I had just discovered "Where in the world is Matt" (or something like that) and I had cried when Michael Phelps won his last gold medal.

Three years ago, the boys & I had recently returned from our Chicago getaway where we explored museums and parks and all agreed it was an amazing place to spend a vacation. And four years ago this month I was hosting a lot of friends at the Peterson family cabin ... back when I was legally a part of that branch of the family - no clue that that would be my last summer as a Peterson wife.

Today, I am making spaghetti (my sons' favorite dinner), thinking about getting State Fair tickets, hoping for full-time employment, still wishing we could have moved to a house-house, congratulating my parents on 52 years of marriage, and feeling ambivalent about whether or not I should keep blogging.

But without this blog, I wouldn't be able to so easily review my past. And that's worth something.

I guess.

Three Weeks (almost)

I know, I know. I started blogging again, and then - nothing. For almost 3 weeks. What can I say, I've been busy, and uninspired.

I'll try to start again.

Soon.

Promise.

In the meantime, here's something to make you smile.

AFS

Many, many moons ago I was an AFS student. I am thinking about it now because a young man I have never met but whose life intersected with mine through a connection with K12 is preparing to leave on an AFS year - made even more special to me because he is going to Norway, just about my favorite country in the world.

I remember those days before departure oh-so-well, even though I was just 17 (do the math, I'm 48 now...) I don't recall exactly when I left - sometime in late July, I believe - but I do remember that I didn't know where I was going. Back in MY day, you couldn't choose your host country, as you can now. I knew I was going somewhere, but didn't find out where until about 3 or 4 weeks before I left - and that was just the COUNTRY. Yugoslavia. My first reaction was "WHERE is YUGOSLAVIA?" I didn't find out until a few days before departing what town I was going to (Skopje) and who my family was (the Darkovski family.)

Looking back, I find myself wondering what my parents were thinking. How did they manage to let me go on such an apparently unorganized trip - for a year - on the other side of the world? But I don't recall ever being stressed about it, just excited. And I am certain that feeling came from them. I often think that I was an AFS student to begin with because they had both wanted to be but couldn't. The day I came home saying "there's this thing called AFS and you can go live in another country for a year ...." they both started telling me I was going. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was open to the idea, but they were both so firmly in the camp of DO IT that it never really seemed optional for me.

And off I went. The night before I left, I went to the Doobie Brothers concert in St. Paul with a friend, then came home to my house filled with all of my friends - we stayed up all night, packing and talking and laughing ... and though I don't remember it, there was probably some crying, too. I have absolutely no memory of going to the airport or flying to New York, which is where we had about a 4-day orientation. The next clear memory I have is when our flight from Brussels to Belgrade, the capitol of Yugoslavia, was landing and we (me and the other 3 AFSer coming to the country for the year) looked out the windows at the armed military guards surrounding the plane. And we looked at each other and a tiny granule of fear was evident in our eyes. Remember, this was way back before terrorism was even on the radar screen for airline travel. I don't think I had ever seen a real gun before.

As I think about Jon heading off to Norway, now, I think about how different his experience will be. When I went there were no computers, no email, no blogs, no cell phones. Handwritten letters took 3 weeks to be delivered and postage was significant enough that we used extra-thin paper and wrote really, REALLY small. I knew going over that I would get two short phone calls - one on my birthday and one on Christmas, but that would be it. Nothing else. And back then, AFS even discouraged that much contact. TWO phone calls was pushing the limit. Because, you see, they felt that if you had such frequent contact from home it would inhibit your bonding with your new home and new family.

Wonder what they say now?

I wonder if now the focus of an AFS year is to "visit" for a year - make friends, observe a new culture, learn to get along in a new language. Whereas 30 years ago, you went to come as closely as possible to completely, 100% assimilate and become an almost-native of a new land, and a true member of a new family.

And I wonder if that difference matters.

Tattoo Alert

I love my tattoo. I got it on my birthday, 8 years ago. I had wanted one for years and years, but could never decide what image to put permanently onto my skin. Before the artist was even done with my first one, I was planning my second - I hear that is very common. But 8 years have passed and I still don't know what image to use for this next one.

But now I may be making that decision - soon. Brian's sister is coming to town in a week and she wants to get one (her first) and she wants me to go with her, and get one too. Being as I've been there - done that, and all.

And I am excited at the prospect.

Current ideas on the short list:

1. Something to reflect my Norwegian heritage - a rosemaling image, most likely

2. A friendly dragon - like Sapphira if you've read Eragon. A loyal protector who is very, VERY cool-looking.

3. A Chinese symbol for some meaningful word or phrase. I'm hesitant on this one because it seems kind of cliched (clicheed? How DO you spell that, it looks wrong no matter what.) Looks too much like a cliche (better?) BUT I do like the simplicity.

4. Something very cool.

And yes, #4 is a wee bit vague. Thus my problem.

In the past when I have been close to acting on this, Carla has spent a lot of time scouting ideas for me online, but she is on vacation and won't have time to help me out, so perhaps one of my other 4 readers has an idea?

POI Update

Things are moving along ... I have two more sites in the works. One for a musician, and one for a Pilates instructor - who is going to pay me in private training sessions, HOW COOL IS THAT??? I knew having a "barter" option would work out well!

I am still nervous and anxious and worried and (what's another word that continues my stretch of using several words to say basically the same thing?) Well, you get the idea. But every time I start talking with a new client and planning a new site, I get so excited and my mind just races at the possibilities and I want to drop everything (I am out of milk AND dog food today but am I out shopping right now? Um, no.) and GET. TO. WORK.

AND - bonus! - the sun is shining today.

And this picture is in no way related to this post, but it's where I was yesterday. Nice.

Just because you can ...

Last year sometime I read somewhere (don't you love my powers of recall?) "Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD."

And after viewing photos of myself in my favorite jeans this past weekend, I think it's time to retire them. Just because they do still button doesn't mean I should wear them. (Need I mention many of those photos were taken from the back? A perspective I rarely see?)

It's just that inside this nearly 50-year old body is the mind of a teen and I just plain forget that I can't get away with dressing like said teen.

Sigh.

On the other hand, in some areas of life I think just because you can do something is a perfect reason to go for it. I know I often talk myself out of things for the silliest of reasons, when, in actuality, I CAN do it and I should. This whole website design thing ... my new career - there's a million reasons NOT to go for it. I woke up the day after launching my site shocked - yes, shocked! - that I didn't have 4 emails in my inbox from new clients wanting to hire me right then and there. But I keep reminding myself ***I CAN*** do this, and therefore ***I WILL*** do this, and the clients will come.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Summer Daze

In two days our family moves into a situation that we have never, ever been in before. And I am more than a bit nervous.

Yesterday was the last day of school. Monday is the first real day of summer vacation. Monday morning I head off to work. Leaving my two sons home.

Now, they are certainly old enough to be safe; they can feed themselves quite nicely, and they can be counted on to do any chores I list for them.

But. This is the first summer of their lives that I have worked out of the home. And I would be lying if I said I was sure everything would be just fine.

I know without a doubt that given their druthers, they would watch TV, play video games, and be online all day, every day. For obvious reasons, that is not going to be allowed. I am struggling with determining how far I go to make sure that doesn't happen. I want to trust that all I have to do is say so, but my fear is they will sneak ... if not the first week, surely by the third or fourth. But if I lock things up (literally in a closet, or by use of passwords and parental control options) am I saying much too blatantly "I don't trust you" ???

Help???

edited to add: Just after I hit "publish post" on this blog entry, I went to check email and I had one new one. BOOT CAMP FOR YOUR TEEN.

Ta-Da!

I feel like I have given birth. Well, OK, not physically. And yeah, OK, not really emotionally, either. But it is somewhat similar in that there were times when I thought this day would never come, and I find myself checking on it every few minutes to make sure it's still OK. And I really do think it's awfully good-looking and of course very smart.

I am launching my new company - http://www.positiveonlineimage.com/ or POI for short - and it's so exciting! I'm not giving up my day job (for now) as I don't know how long it will take to get clients - but I am completely confident I will get them, and that the business will grow just as quickly as I am prepared to handle it.

So what is it, briefly? The elevator speech is this:

Everyone needs a website these days.

And, honestly, most people need more than just a site - they need to manage their web presence, which is a website combined with e-communication, blogging, Facebook, LinkedIn, and more. And web developers have this reputation of being expensive and elusive - they don't return phone calls or emails, they make one update only to cause a need for another, and you never are sure if they are really listening. POI is none of that. We are fast, we are affordable, and we are GOOD.

I am offering friends & family discounts, and special start-up savings for clients who sign on in June or July. I also will barter - make me an offer I can't refuse!

Share my site with those you know. Contact me if you want to talk business. Or even if you just want to say "hi!"

And I'll keep you updated as my new baby grows.

YAY!

I took an hour to watch TV and feel sorry for myself and dry my tears, came here and blogged briefly about my frustration, and then I tried again - AND I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arrgh.

Tonight I cried - actual tears - in frustration. Why do I think I can do this web stuff? It's so maddening.

My name is Karen, and I'm addicted to .....

Cardboard boxes.

There, I said it.

When I was about 23, I bought my first house. It was the cutest little 2 bedroom, 1 bath Minneapolis bungalow. I was only the third owner. The second owner had added on in the back so it had a big kitchen and a wonderful back hall / pantry area. The attic was delightfully romantic, and the yard just big enough to make me feel like a land owner.

It also had a special room in the basement, filled with floor-to-ceiling shelves on all walls. No doubt it was originally meant to hold all the canned goods the owner was expected to put up each fall, but to me, it meant one thing and one thing only.

It was a box room.

An entire storage room where I could keep all my boxes. You just never know when you are going to need one and to not have the exact size and design needed - well, I can't even imagine what might happen in this world.

This addiction grew as I aged. Even with moves (you have to save boxes to move with, you know) and marriage to a non-believer, I still managed to keep my boxes. Oh, I learned to be very clever at hiding them and justifying them and convincing myself I had to have them.

Yesterday, I decided to clean my garage. I have attempted this before, most recently when I needed to get Hillman's van into the garage for the winter. Most of the stuff in the garage has been there - untouched - since I moved into this place 3 years ago following my divorce. But in amongst the unpacked boxes of kitchen utensils and memorabilia were boxes filled with other boxes. Shoe boxes. Boxes with hinged lids. Boxes with built-in handles. Shiny boxes. Sturdy boxes. Boxes ranging from small jewelry sizes to wardrobe boxes for moving.

Brian bravely ventured out into the garage with me, and in a moment of great strength, I quickly pulled about 30 empty boxes off the shelves and from their hiding places and pushed them towards him, begging him to act quickly, while I had the ability to allow it, and gave him a box cutter.

Then I took the dogs for a walk, as I just couldn't bear to watch, and I knew if I stayed in the house I would find reasons - compelling, logical, important reasons - to keep at least a dozen of those boxes. Brian was swift and true and when I got back, the boxes were condensed into small rectangles of flat cardboard.

Today, I have mixed feelings. I am proud of myself for taking the first step, but I am also mourning, and I am thinking of at least 17 ways I really could have USED those boxes which, alas, are no more.

I am also eternally grateful to have Brian in my life - a man who looks quizzically at me but doesn't comment, listens to my tortured theatrics, and then acts - without questioning or laughing at me, and finally hugs me and congratulates me when it's done.

And FWIW ... this truly is NOT exaggerated hyperbole. This is my life.

owwwwww

Either the gardening or the typing is slowly killing me. Or perhaps it's the combination of the two. For whatever reason, I have had more aches and pains in the last week than I can remember ever having before. Today my neck is so stiff and sore that I did go online to read about meningitis, just in case.

It's not.

So I am sitting here now with a hot compress around my neck, and Brian has been massaging it, and I am going to try a different pillow tonight.

And I am DONE gardening. I will water, but that's it for now.

The typing I can't be done with, but I think I will try to get a more ergonomic set-up. Don't know how I will do that, but I think I better try.

Going Geek

I have been learning how to increase my geek-dom lately (did I really admit that?!) And I am loving it. [This in addition to my learning to enjoy gardening. 2010 is apparently a year for big changes in my life.]

When I started working at the church I am at, I quickly discovered that my favorite part of my job is maintaining the website (http://www.unitysouth.org/) I had never done this before - and I soon found out that if I wasn't careful, I could easily spend all day every day adding this, tweaking that, editing the other thing ...

Suddenly I realized that I could be a webmaster - without being a programmer (shudder at the thought) and I could be good at it!

So, over the past several months, I have been slowly moving towards launching a new career as a web designer. Mostly it's been thinking big thoughts as I drive back and forth to work, but in the past 3 weeks it's become more concrete as I actually have been working on three sites. The first is very simple and I plan to go back to it and spice it up a bit (http://www.lwvbloomington.org/) The other two are not quite ready to showcase yet, but I am excited, and will share them with you as soon as they are ready.

My goal is to have about a half-dozen sites done by mid-July and then start soliciting paying customers in earnest. I plan to focus on small business and nonprofits, and entrepreneurs - people who want a quality web presence but don't want to spend a ton of money to do it. I have two defining characteristics of my business: I am affordable, and I am good! I can't believe what I have been learning some people pay to get a website up and running. I also can't believe how many sites I see with mistakes - typing errors, or navigational problems, or garish color or font, making sites unfriendly, disreputable, and not conducive to getting my business. My sites won't be like that. (Well, I suppose the color thing could be a matter of taste, but there's no accounting for some people's taste!)

So as you read this, if anyone or anything comes to mind who might need a website, I hope you will think of me - soon I will have my own site live to refer people to.

Loving the inner geek.

Glee? Not for me.

I have watched exactly two episodes of Glee.

I don't remember the name (or theme) of the first one I watched, but it was one where they all seemed to be eager to lose their virginity but turned out no one actually did it. I think. Then I just watched the Lady Gaga episode on Hulu, because I do like me some Gaga. And FWIW, apparently someone is pregnant now so even if they didn't do it on that first show I watched, they must have done it subsequently.

Now, I know there are a lot of Glee-fanatics out there who adore this show. But I have to say, I'm not feeling it.

During the first episode I watched, I was, to be honest, shocked. I had thought that this show, about a high school glee club, would be something I could watch with my kids. But as that episode played I was very relieved that my kids had shown on interest in it at all, and weren't anywhere near me. I found it objectionable - I am fine with sexuality in movies or books or even late night cable TV shows. But prime time network high school shows? This was blatant. This was in your face. And it really bothered me.

I didn't expect to ever watch it again, but the lure of Gaga brought me back - and while I did enjoy listening to their renditions of Gaga songs (and the costumes were crazy fun) - I was once again not happy with the plot line.

One of the main characters is gay, and he has a crush on another of the main characters, who is not gay. At the same time, their parents (gay's dad and non-gay's mom, both single, no idea if they are divorced, widowed, never married, whatever - not, I suppose, that it matters) start dating and fall in love and decide to move in together. They make this decision without telling the non-gay son, and then spring it on him - he is moving into this other house and has to share a bedroom with the gay son who has a crush on him. He is uncomfortable both with the fact that he had no say in any of this (or warning about it), and with the details of this living arrangement. Eventually he reacts in anger and uses the "f" word (fag, not the 4-letter one) and the Dad kicks him out for gay-bashing.


And here is where I took objection.


Forcing your teenager to share a bedroom with someone who has a romantic crush on him is icky - yet no one seemed to notice or care about that. (I'd use their names instead of gay and non-gay but I really have no clue what their names are.)

As far as I can tell, non-gay has never exhibited any signs that he dislikes gay for being gay, or that he is uncomfortable with anyone's sexuality. Heck, within the glee club there is a young woman with two dads, and the afore-mentioned pregnant one - and the father of her baby is also in the glee club - so lots of sexuality-based character development here, and non-gay never blinks (or perhaps he does but since I have only watched two episodes I am missing that about him? I doubt it, but am always open to the possibility.)

But the issue today is that he really doesn't want to get dressed or undressed in front of gay, and who can blame him? I half expected gay to speak up and say "it's my fault, I made him feel uncomfortable" but that didn't happen. No, non-gay apparently has to be happy about sharing a bedroom in order to prove his open-mindedness. His discomfort is ignored, and he is shown as a teen with prejudice, and from the editing it seems the audience is supposed to agree with the dad. Then, at the end of the show, he apologetically expresses remorse and claims to have grown in his understanding of himself, and of gay's "gayness" and now all is right with the world - all done while he wears a Gaga-styled red ball gown in the boy's bathroom while staring down two football players.


Seriously? Could there be any more stereotypes in one scene?


I gave it my best, I watched two episodes but forget it. I found this show to first be offensive, and then to just be stupid. Defenders? Give me your best.

Your Next Adventure!

I was a small part of this company for a very short while. I wish I still were. I will be going on a trip with them someday, I don't know when - and you should, too.

Today is the founder's birthday. Happy Day, Jodi!